Open letter to film and tv

I’ll skip the pleasantries and cut to the chase. You saved my life. I don’t mean that in the colloquial way. You saved my life. Well... I’m not saying I’d be dead without you -- there’s no way to know about alternate timelines -- but when I was alone and sad and my days were dark and my nights stretched on forever because I didn’t sleep and my social life was so quiet I could actually hear the party I wasn’t at that was going on three blocks away (or megaphoned into my ear by Facebook), you were there. You gave me another world to escape into and another life to enjoy. Ironically, this is also the danger of TV and Film. That life you’re escaping into is perpetually a few inches out of reach and can never fully be grasped by the heart... but such is the nature of anything vicarious. Having said that, you introduced me to emotions that my heart hadn’t been exposed to in my “real” life. You gave me the friends I didn’t have in school (I had some, so no offense to those few).

This is coming now because I just saw a blooper reel on one of my shows and laughed like I was watching home videos. Film and TV, you were friends present throughout my childhood. Here’s a belated thank you note. I would have made a friendship bracelet but I’m subpar at arts and crafts, and also you’re an incorporeal abstraction so I wouldn’t exactly have known where to tie it on to.

Now there’s something that should be said: I quit watching TV altogether five and a half years ago. All of the good memories I’m waxing poetic about are distant ones. This is nostalgia. The reason I stopped was because what had been a good thing -- an incredible, life-saving thing in fact (my relationship with TV) -- I could sense was becoming a crutch. Let me explain why...

A few words of warning, and then a few in defense of “entertainment.”
Warning: TV and Film can provide an escape but only a temporary one. The “friends” you make can make you smile but not hug you. The crushes you develop can make your heart skip a beat but can’t hold your hand. The drama can make you cringe, the suspense can make you sweat, the fantasy can make you dream, but none of it is there when you turn the TV off. TV and Film are parallel lives you can sample, and it can be sensual and vivid, but you can never really embrace it. There’s a perfection that is crafted in narrative that your life can never live up to. Don’t try. Enjoy it for what it is. TV isn’t your whole life but it can help. It helped me.

Now to throw a few rhetorical punches...

Entertainment is scoffed at and capital “A” Art is placed on a cultural pedestal. Let me just say... you have no right to delineation between the two. Who are you to tell anyone what piece falls into either category? Maybe Art does exist separately from entertainment but the distinction is meaningless in any practical sense because what is shallow to you, you half- turtle-neck clad, pontificating, monocle dawning, yawning, pajoritizing, art-gallery-attending, hot-dog-not-eating, art connoisseur who has now become an archetypal stereotype that I’m raging against, may be the light in some young recluse’s life, wether that be a youtuber’s vlog surprising fans with their celeb crush in the passenger seat of his car, or a Tik Tok just salacious enough to satisfy your teenage drama-tooth, or five episodes of Community and Entourage back to back two hours after you were supposed to be asleep, the resulting sleep deprivation from which will hinder you profoundly tomorrow but the tired-drudgery is worth the laughs now. The distinction may exist but cannot be applied. It’s all relative, so don’t try.

Now back to my raison-d’ecrit. Despite my having to leave you behind, you saved my life. I had to leave because I wanted to do something in my “real” life and I didn’t think there was room for you both in these parts partner. I hope you will at least find some solace in what I’ve chosen to do with my life in your absence. I’ve dedicated it to making Film and TV. To create that which saved me in hopes that I can pay it forward to others who need you. Full circle. Reciprocity. It is a magical thing you can do Film and TV -- giving fantasies and alternate worlds to people who want them -- and I think it’s a worthy pursuit to dedicate one’s life to. So here I am doing it.

Film and TV can save lives... Consume responsibly. Create passionately.

-- Toronto, 2020